Is motherhood that complicated?

Is motherhood that complicated?

Motherhood is so complicated, it is a relationship, an identity, and a full-time job. The culture expects a mother to be compassionate, caring, and warm. A mother is a doctor, a teacher, and a priest. Motherhood comes with so many roles. Before we become moms, we keep on admiring those cute babies and we can’t wait to carry a baby in our arms. I know most women if not all crave to be a mom. But have you ever thought of the complications that come with that tag? Nobody thinks of that before you find yourself in the midst of it. No woman is ever prepared for motherhood, you learn as you get there. 

And what makes this beautiful, and fulfilling task hard? Here are some of the things that complicate motherhood. 

  • It comes suddenly

For a woman, no other thing in life comes suddenly as receiving a new baby. No matter how prepared we might think we are, it comes with surprises. Nothing much even the most organized women can do to be ready for this new journey. Interestingly, even the moms who had kids before still get it hard to manoeuvre. Many expectant moms will read books, watch tutorials, and benchmark from friends to prepare for motherhood. But that will not make you perfect because a thing happens unexpectedly. You find yourself multitasking a lot and forced to make sudden decisions. Every child is unique and comes with special needs. 

  • You focus only on kids

As a woman, you had your life before. I know you had your goals and dreams well put. You had a picture of the kind of woman you would like to be. But, wait for a moment. When a baby comes all that has to stop because your focus shifts to kids. Those who have kids can confirm that they have sacrificed their interests to be with kids. Most of the time the mom has no option but to attend to her kids. They need attention from mom if you are not feeding them, you are entertaining them. Your life, therefore, revolves around kids and you don’t have much time for your needs. 

  • Sleeping is a problem

As a mom, you don’t get enough sleep. Even when you sleep, you are likely to be interrupted. The baby needs your attention day and night. You also have some errands to run in your house so even when the baby is asleep, you are still on the move. Lacking enough sleep makes you so weary, overwhelmed, and fatigued. 

  • Make you lose your temper

Kids test you as a mother. They will make you do things that you didn’t want to do. We all want our children to be disciplined and behave the way we nurture them. But that can never happen, even adults break simple rules. The kids will do all manner of things that irritate us. They will force us to lose our temper and yell at them. We sometimes beat them and the next moment feel guilty about it. With kids, you find yourself getting upset all the time. 

Indeed motherhood comes with a lot of challenges. Unfortunately, moms are left to deal with the challenges alone with no support. No wonder most women become depressed, anxious, and stressed. As a mom take it slow and leave a day at a time. Accept that is the situation you are in and it is going to pass. Yes, it is hard but it is a worthwhile journey that brings fulfilment to a woman. Learn how to take care of yourself even as you take care of the little humans. 



Charity Nyambura is an advocate of women's wellness and a voice for gender equality. She graduated from Egerton University with a Degree in Gender and Development studies.

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